Carved in Stone: A Collection of Naruto Ficlets
by Raigekijin
Summary: A compehensive collection of all of my Naruto one shots
1. Carved in Stone

A/N: My first one shot/ficlet, orignally posted at the Livejournal community Naruto100, Carved in Stone is the original, and I hope you enjoy it. It's my first foray into the world of Naruto fanfics, and eventually, more one shots will be added, as I write them of course. Does anyone know Anbu Lady's name by the way?

**Carved in Stone**

Lying here, watching the rain fall, I can't help but think of you. I laid flowers by the memorial for you yesterday, as I do sometimes. Occasionally I see Kakashi there, standing quietly, but he does not often speak to me. Yet neither do I offer words to him, for we both have our painful memories locked in place and carved in stone. I trace your name on that black stone and weep inside.

Outwardly, I shed no tears. I cannot afford to cry. I merely don my mask and put up my defenses, buckling on my armor and cinching up my pain. I have a team to lead and missions to fulfill, and I have no time for grief. I slipped up in the last mission, thinking of you. I lay prone in a hospital bed, staring up at the blank ceiling. So many people died, only a few months ago now, but why did you have to be the first?

Every time I close my eyes I see you, your own eyes unclosed even in death. I see that look of horror on your stricken face and the blood, washed across the domed roof. And every time I open my eyes and wake I see your sword lying on the table there, and I can't help but clutch it to my chest.

I can still remember the academy days. I think the only reason you let me so close was the way I treated your condition. The adults tended to overemphasize it, always worrying. I know that bothered you. But the other students tried to downplay it, joking and laughing. But I let you decide whether you could keep going or not, whether something was too much. Maybe that was why we were so close.

I can still remember graduation, being assigned to cells, our first mission. We weren't in the came cell, but we kept in touch. I made new friendships, so did you, but we still met every now and then as we grew older. I smile a little remembering those talks we had, the times we shared. I especially cherish the memory of our first kiss, when you told me you had a present for my fifteenth birthday. You were so red in the face, but then again, so was I…

If you were still alive, still with me, we would wake in the morning and smile about that. Sometimes you would bring it up, and we would laugh. It really was such an awkward thing, that first kiss. You asked me to close my eyes and coughed nervously. I can't help but close my eyes and smile just thinking about it, safe beneath the hospital sheets.

Can we ever go back to those peaceful, quieter days? No, we can't go back to the first kiss, the first love. No… you're gone. But we all disappear eventually. And then, when I finally do die, maybe they'll write my name on the memorial beside yours, Hayate…


	2. Regret of the Crescent Moon

A/N: My second ficlet, and a companion fic to the first, Carved in Stone. As Carved in Stone was from Anbu Lady's point of view, this is from Hayate's. Enjoy.

**Regret of the Crescent Moon:**

Laying here, staring up at the clouding sky, I can't help but think of you as I shudder to draw breath. The sand jounin has gone and I am alone as I lay dying. Is it selfish, to want you by my side as I die? As I wither from my wounds as my illness could never do? No, if I had said that you would have laughed at me. I cough and choke on blood as my vision begins to fade to black.

The moon is bright in my sight even as I die. The clouds slowly move across the sky as it stays the focus of my eye. I wonder how you'll fare, when I am gone. For I know I surely am gone. I can feel the blood seeping from many wounds, caused by blades of wind, sharp and real as if they were forged of cold steel.

And what would become of Konoha when I die? I can never tell what I have learned, that the Sand and the Sound villages planned to attack under the truce of the chunin exams. Even using the Dance of the Crescent Moon I had been unable to kill the traitor. But then again, maybe they would be able to find my killer. But for some reason, the fate of Konoha doesn't seem to concern me as much as your fate did.

Will you cry for me? Will you move on? Will you smile again? Will I see you again, once more, before I die? I can't seem to settle on one thought as my conscious blurs. My hand is still holding tightly to my sword, and I clutch it like a lifeline. Trying to hold on to anything, trying to tie myself to this world, I lock my eyes on the moon above.

I can see your face as well, a faint and distant image, receding as my life dims and my hold on this world weakens. I'm trying to hold on, trying to stay until I see you again, but it is now, as the shining moon itself dims, that I realize that I won't see you again. I will die here alone, in the dark, mourned only by the moon. My breath is quick and shallow in between coughs of blood, and I can feel the blood leaking out of my broken body with every breath.

My hand slowly opens, and my sword rolls away before coming to a halt mere inches from me. I strain to reach it, but my arm, my hand, will not move. I sigh a little, looking up at the dark night sky. I feel no pain, I am numb, and I feel myself dying as my illness never could kill me. But thinking of you makes it better. For when you first smiled at me, I was born again. When you loved me, I truly lived. And now, as your face disappears along with my vision, I die.


	3. Something Was Very Wrong

A/N: Originally posted at Naruto100, for the Show/Down challenge, a comedy.

**Something Was Very Wrong**

Thinking back on the whole thing, Shikamaru had no idea how he had gotten there. One minute he had beat Asuma in their 53rd game of Go, and the next minute he was in a karaoke bar. Something was very wrong. The offensive sound of bad singing assaulted his ears and he sighed into his tea, staring at his own disgruntled expression. Asuma was laughing loudly, drinking a cup of sake at their booth.

"Oi, Shikamaru! Sing a song!" Asuma exclaimed, gesturing at the rowdy crowd all about them. Sighing again and leaning back, Shikamaru tried to blot out the sight of some ninja strip dancing on the next table to some song about being too sexy for his shirt.

"I'd rather not. When did you say Ino and Chouji were getting here?" Asuma laughed, drowning his entire bottle of sake in a single gulp. He didn't seem to hear the question as he suddenly raced out of the karaoke bar, returning with one hand wrapped around Kurenai's slim waist. The other jounin had apparently been walking by before being assaulted by his teacher.

"Here, loosen up, Kurenai! Have a drink!" Shikamaru made an unidentifiable sound in the back of his throat and sipped his tea. It was troublesome being here, but it would become more problematic trying to leave. His attention began wandering, he was probably being afflicted by the awful music. Some pale man with long black hair took the stage with the mike and Shikamaru winced when the lyrics started slithering his way.

"Like a virgin…" The pale man sang, a tongue at least two feet long dangling from his mouth. _Drunk freak_. He watched idly as a woman who was… very well endowed, wrested the mike from the man and proceeded to belt her own version of the song.

"Like a surgeon! Cutting for the very first time!" Shikamaru was lost in this strange, bizarre, and extremely painful world. Turning his head back to his booth, Shikamaru was mildly shocked to see Kakashi, Gai, and several other ninjas from the academy occupying the nearby booths. When they had arrived, he had no idea, but they were already grating on his nerves.

"I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!" Sasuke and Naruto were up on a table screaming at each other to the tune of some rock song, Sakura was drowning in a cup of sake, despite her underage status, and Ino was flirting, red faced, with a very uninterested hungry Chouji. Asuma and Kurenai were laughing, Kakashi was reading his porno, and Gai and Lee were up on the next table, dancing rather absurdly and singing something about being hit one more time, baby. It was too much.

If it was one thing Shikamaru had learned from this whole exasperating experience, it was that being stuck in the middle of a karaoke contest sucked. He'd always known it wasn't over until the fat lady sang, but he didn't foresee Chouji's mother coming to get him anytime soon.


	4. Harder Than It Should Be

A/N: Well, here I am at my first day at work and I'm writing oneshots in between answering the phone. I love Neji x Tenten, so I just had to write this, it came to me as I was recieving a collect call from one of my dad's clients from the jail. Intesresting conception, ne?

**Harder Than It Should Be**

Tenten has always known that she would get him eventually. If she tried hard enough, worked a little bit harder at it, she would catch him. She supposed that attitude had been rubbed off on her by Lee or Gai-sensei, but it worked for her.

The first time she ever considered that she had made headway was when he let her touch his hair. There was a moon viewing festival in Konoha that night and she had dropped by his house to see if he was going. Apparently he was, because his door was open and he was cursing softly, trying to work a tangle out of that long black hair. Tenten enjoyed the sight of it spilling across the rich blue yukata he was wearing, and she longed to touch it.

"Tenten? Good timing, help me with this." Those were the words she longed to hear. Smiling, she took the comb from him and gathered his hair, running the ivory comb through his hair and working out all the knots, all the tangles it had acquired during the day's training. Neji quieted after that, leaving her silent in her work. She got a little nervous in the quiet and began humming a song her mother often sung, smiling and enjoying the moment.

"I like your hair down." Neji commented suddenly, turning to face her and reclaiming the comb from her hand. Tenten was speechless for a moment, head cocked slightly to the side, puzzled. Neji flashed something between an arrogant smirk and a genuine smile; she wasn't sure which, before standing and placing the comb on the nearby table.

"Well, are you coming or not?" Tenten regained her sense and nodded, standing up and letting her purple yukata settle around her and she walked quickly to catch up with her teammate, who was already out the door. Chasing after Hyuuga Neji was hard work, harder than it should be. He was a walking enigma, usually a slave to routine and tradition, but every now and then he broke and did something wonderfully spontaneous.

"Neji, I didn't finish with your hair!" She protested a little, catching up with him. Neji smirked a little and shrugged. No, trying to make the genius Hyuuga Neji fall in love was no easy task, it was definitely harder than it should be, but then again, Tenten had never once said she wasn't up for a challenge.


	5. The Object of Revenge

A/N: Once again a post from the receptionists desk, no one is calling the office, so what else do I have to do except write an angsty and confusing Itachi one shot?

**The Object of Revenge**

Sometimes he thinks about it after missions, after killing someone. Other times it's when he anticipating the kill that his mind strays to the topic of what he is, of what use he is. But it usually only lasts for the briefest of moments before he loses himself in the screams, the blood, and the power rush.

He is the strongest. No one can even begin to compare to his might, his power. With nary a glance he has sent the most powerful shinobi in the five main countries into horrid nightmares, killing them, driving them insane, or leaving them comatose. No one has landed a hit on him, the most powerful of all.

And yet, during the deepest night, when it's raining and he's buried in the silence, he can't help but think he feels lonely at the top. When you hold all the power in your hands, there is no one else to take it from. It's all yours, yours alone. He supposed it was that part of him, the part that predicted this, that had held his hand back from killing his only possible future.

But his little avenger wasn't strong enough yet, wasn't sharpened, refined enough yet to present him a challenge, and he couldn't kill him until he at least landed a single blow. The game was afoot, and it would have been a shame to end it this early. Maybe one day his little avenger would cease to live, cease to prolong his miserable life and cease to hate. That would be a sad day indeed, for what was the object of revenge to do if the little avenger failed?

Without the avenger, the object of revenge would have no meaning, and then where would he be? What purpose would there be to killing and to hurting if the avenger did not smolder with anger when he received the news? What purpose would there be to listening to screams and watching the blood splatter against the wall if avenger wouldn't grit his teeth in fury? And what purpose was thereto living without the possibility of avenger ending the object of revenge's life?

Deep in the night, buried in the silence, watching the rain fall, Itachi sighed.


	6. Lost in Translation

**A/N: **This was an entry in Naruto100's "Travel" challenge.

**Lost In Translation**

When Gai-sensei told her they were going on a class trip, Tenten was excited. After all, Gai-sensei promised that it would be very fun. Plus, they got to take a plane, which was always interesting, considering that Neji was secretly afraid of planes. She wouldn't have expected it, but it was so. He had almost puked on her last time they flew on one. Lee was naturally ecstatic about the things. But when Tenten realized where they were going she became a little wary.

"What are you thinking? Russia?" Gai-sensei grinned his shiny grin, undeterred by his student's concern.

"Of course, Tenten! We shall study the intricacies of the Cloud ninjas in Russia! Do not be alarmed, they are perfectly harmless!" Tenten felt the corner of her eye twitch. Neji had a bored and disinterested look on his face, but Lee was still ecstatic about the whole thing, of course.

When they boarded the plane at one of Hokkaido's airports, Tenten passed Neji some Dramamine when no one else was around. He refused of course, he was too prideful. But she slipped it in his soda when he wasn't looking and smiled. The in-flight movie was horrid and the pretzels were stale, but they finally arrived.

"And now, to enjoy Russia's finest tourist attractions!" Gai-sensei declared dramatically, gesturing behind him to a shabby looking building. Tenten was tired, but her eyes still managed to widen.

"Gai-sensei… isn't that a bar?" She asked. Her teacher grinned.

"Not just a bar, Tenten. It's also a quaint little inn!" Neji huffed to himself.

"We shall refresh our youthfulness here before beginning out studies tomorrow, right, Gai-sensei?" Lee declared loudly. Gai-sensei flashed another blinding grin before the both of them began posing in the middle of the street.

"Te liudi iavliaiutsia idiotami" Some woman was speaking disdainfully nearby to another woman, who replied with a "Dа". Not knowing if someone was talking about you was very annoying. So Neji and Tenten carried in the bags.

"Vam nuzhno komnata?" The man at the door asked them. Tenten shot Neji a look, but he shrugged. Lee had the Japanese-to-Russian dictionary in his pocket, and no one was about to interrupt him and Gai-sensei during their posing session.

"Uh… we need two rooms for the night." Tenten said, miming along with her speech, feeling quite stupid.

"Glupye inostrantsy." The man muttered as he smiled, leading them in and up a flight of stairs. It wasn't until after Tenten and Neji had dumped the bags that they found Lee had discovered the bar.

"Vodka is strong stuff." Lee hiccupped, surrounded by three Russian girls.

"Krasivyi inostrannyi malchik, Vy poliubite li imet seks so mnoi?"?" One of the girls asked seductively, leaning close to Lee and showing cleavage. Neji blanched visibly and Tenten turned to him, puzzled.

"Why is Lee… I'm better looking than him, aren't I?" Neji was positively aghast. Tenten smiled a little, patting her teammate on the shoulder.

"Of course, Neji."

**Translation Notes:**  
Te liudi iavliaiutsia idiotami - Those people are idiots  
Da - Yes  
Vam nuzhno komnata? - Do you need a room?  
Glupye inostrantsy - Stupid foreigners  
Krasivyi inostrannyi malchik, Vy poliubite li imet seks so mnoi? - Pretty foreign boy, do you want to have sex with me?


	7. The Sand's Dutch Island Adventure

**A/N:** This was an entry (and the winner) for Naruto100's "Travel Challenge".

**The Sand's Dutch Island Vacation:**

Aruba was a small place, Gaara thought as he stepped off the plane. But there was a lot of sand, which was always a good thing. Kankuro was fuming behind him about having to check his puppet Karasu as baggage, and Temari too was a little upset about having to check her fan. Not his problem. He just carried sand in his shorts.

"How are we supposed to get around? I can't understand anything anyone is saying." Kankuro griped. Gaara shrugged.

"Baki knows Dutch." Temari and Kankuro exchanged looks.

"Why do the people here speak Dutch? It's in the Caribbean!" Temari exclaimed. Gaara put a hand to his temple and closed his eyes, exasperated.

"This island was originally claimed by Spain, but then was handed over to Holland, which is why they speak Papiamento, a medley of Dutch, Spanish, English, and Portuguese." He was getting tired of explaining thing. Baki was ignoring them, speaking to the man at baggage and laughing.

"Deze drie dwazen zijn mijn studenten." He was saying, whatever that meant. Gaara didn't really care; he just wanted to hit the beach. Kankuro was busy threatening the life of one of the boys who had thrown Karasu from the baggage cart, and Temari was making eyes at a native. What a fun family outing.

The beach, when he finally made it there, was a much better place. They had managed to find a spot without many people, and the white sand was something of a novelty to Gaara. He would have to take some home. He found a glass bottle washed up on the beach and figured it would be a good container for his pretty sand.

Throwing out the rolled up piece of parchment inside, (that wasn't important), Gaara began picking out choice, pure white sand grains and placing them in his beach bottle. Kankuro was attempting something the natives called "het surfen", which was basically trying to balance on a wooden board in the ocean, although Gaara thought Kankuro was cheating since Karasu shouldn't count as a "surfplank".

Temari was sunbathing in her bikini and Baki was sitting nearby, half his face wrapped in a wet towel. It seemed no one would ever know what was behind that stupid cloth. Though he would rather Baki stay away from him, since the annoying adult had done nothing but spout Papiamento since they had arrived.

There were a few other tourists, but they stuck to their side of the beach after Gaara had built a whole sand castle battlement between them. It was a very impressive sand castle, he had to admit, and he was very proud of the seven foot outer walls.

After gathering his precious white sand Gaara stopped to rest in his sand castle, glad of the shade. Looking down, he was a little perturbed to notice that his skin had tanned in a criss-cross pattern, caused by his mesh shirt. Baki suddenly stuck his head in the door, grinning.

"Looi nooit in netwerkkleding."

**Translation Notes:  
**  
Deze Drie Dwazen Zijn Mijn Studenten These Three Idiots Are My Students  
Het Surfen Surfing  
Surfplank Surfboard  
Looi Nooit In Netwerkkleding Never Tan In Mesh Clothing


	8. Above and Beyond the Call of Duty

**A/N:** My entry for "Jutsus Gone Wrong", pure crack

**Above and Beyond the Call of Duty**

Kabuto used the back of his wrist to resituate his glasses on the tip of his nose, making sure he had optimum visual capacity. This operation was extremely delicate, his patient, extremely volatile. One slip up and he was as good as dead. Blood that was almost congealed covered his hands, and he was immensely glad that he had worn his surgical gloves that came up to his elbows.

His patient made an impatient noise, and Kabuto reached for the sanitary wipes. His patient's arms were already heavily bandaged, he had done those first, but the matter at hand was much more of a touch and go situation.

"Hurry up, Kabuto." An irritable high pitched voice he wasn't used to was speaking to him. Cleaning off his anti-bacterial gloves before proceeding, Kabuto began cleaning his patient. It wasn't something he enjoyed, but it was just something that came with the job, the lowest hour of his call of duty.

Having finally finished the tedious task of cleaning away all the blood, Kabuto removed his gloves and began forming the signs of the jutsu he needed. He closed his eyes and flashed through them, his patient got violent when kept waiting.

"Tampon Application no jutsu!" He shouted, finishing the hand seals. Orochimaru began hissing in displeasure.

"Damn it, Kabuto! Wrong handseals, I wanted Playtex, you bitch! Don't mess with me when I'm PMSing DAMMIT!" Kabuto sighed. Another day in the life of Orochimaru's assistant. Hopefully Orochimaru would either get his arms back or switch bodies soon… for both their sakes.


	9. Our Last Dance

**A/N: **This was written for the Naruto100 "Prom" challenge.

**Our Last Dance**

Even though they were at war with the village hidden in the clouds, Konoha still held its ninja academy's prom. Uzuki supposed it was to keep up with morale and all, but it seemed like a hollow gesture. So many of their former class had been lost, and a reunion prom only served to tear open newly healed wounds. Nevertheless, Hayate came to pick her up at 7:00 pm sharp. She pinned a flower on his suit and he slipped the corsage on her wrist as if it was a regular dance, not a reminder of what they'd lost.

Hayate coughed on the way, averting his head and causing his black suit to rumple slightly. Almost without thinking Uzuki smoothed the white shirt and adjusted his tie, letting a small smile grace her features when he thanked her. He complimented her dress, a flashy dark green number, and her hair, which had taken her a considerable time to do up. She replied with compliments on his hair, he'd actually combed it, and his tie, which actually matched.

The dance, held at the Ninja Academy as always, was somber. The dour mood contrasted loudly with the upbeat music being played, and Uzuki felt estranged from it all. There was Aoba, and there was Kotetsu. Genma played with the toothpick in his finger sandwich as Raidou stood in the corner, idly sipping the punch no mischievous teens had bothered to spike. His girlfriend Masaki had died in the last skirmish with Kumogakure, but he still had dragged himself there that night. Not even the teachers trifled themselves with trying to lift the mood.

A slow dance lilted over the small gathering, and Uzuki let Hayate lead her onto the dance floor, his hands resting lightly on her slim waist. He led her gently, and she leaned against him, gathering some comfort in his stoic manner. She knew he was trying to lighten her spirit, and she appreciated it, but this atmosphere, this time, was just too much.

"Uzuki… are you crying?" Hayate asked, wiping away a single tear that had rolled down her cheek. She shook her head and leaned her face against his chest, her voice muffled slightly by his suit.

"Hayate… you'll never leave me, will you?" Uzuki was tired of death. But it was her business to deal in it. But the death of the man she loved, the death of Hayate, was something she never wanted to have to face. Hayate drew her close and kissed her reassuringly, smiling that smile of his.

"Of course not. I'd never leave you, I promise…"


	10. No Sauce, No Spice

**A/N:**An entry in the Naruto100 "Food" challenge, based on my own food tastes.

**No Sauce, No Spice**

Not many people knew it, and the only people who did were not inclined to dare speak of it. But it was the truth. Hyuuga Neji was the pickiest eater in the entire world… or at least in Konoha village. If his rice mixed with his vegetables, his heart skipped a beat. Using sauce on the meat was a thought not even vaguely entertained. Mixing foods, even just different kinds of vegetables, was not permitted. And heaven forbid the use of a seasoning or spice. Neji shuddered at the very thought.

Then of course, the milk products. Due to the fact that his father had accidentally fed him curdled milk as a child, Neji couldn't stomach cheese, yogurts, or milk itself. This was rather problematic when cream was served with breakfast. He had a habit of tipping his creamed coffee out on the mats under the table when no one was looking, and then moving his seat every meal so that no one could trace the mysterious dark stains on the tatami mats.

Hinata provided another problem when she tried to serve him lunch. She liked her foods well seasoned, and he cringed inwardly whenever he saw it. So much sauce and garnish he could die. Depending on his mood he either stomached it or coldly stated that he had already eaten. Tenten, the only other female he regularly came into contact with, wasn't much better. He enjoyed her company, and he trained with her often, but she couldn't cook worth… anything.

So it was now that Neji found himself wearing an apron borrowed from Hinata and cooking in Tenten's kitchen. Tenten had been bothering him about his pickiness, and he was cooking the perfect meal to prove that plain was always better. Unfortunatly Tenten still decided to fight him on taste issues. He was very confused about why she continued to let him use her kitchen and utensils (far away from probing Hyuuga eyes), until the blackmail photos showed up. He should never have listened when she told him wearing that frilly purple apron would keep the food off his clothes…


	11. Expectations of a Copy Ninja

**A/N:** This was the entry for Naruto100's "Icha Icha Trilogy" contest, and the winner for said contest. Enjoy.

**Expectations of a Copy Ninja**

Kakashi didn't know what to expect for the second season of Icha Icha Paradise. He was excited, thrilled, that his favorite series was continuing on, but on the other hand, he was also filled with trepidation concerning the new author. He knew the man would do his best, but would it be good enough? Would Icha Icha Paradise ever be the same? Jiraiya had settled fully into his comfortable retirement and had passed on the mantle of Icha Icha author to another, but would the other live up to Kakashi's expectations?

With quaking hands Kakashi reached for the volume on the shelf, his one uncovered eye sizing up the cover. He held it close as he paid for it, weighing it, eyeing it up and down. It looked suitable, but would the contents be worth it? Or would his beloved Icha Icha Paradise truly be gone for good? Walking home, Kakashi was deep in thought, brooding so much that he failed to even notice Gai sneaking about behind him.

Opening, closing, and locking his door, Kakashi slumped into his well worn armchair, pulling down his mask and raising his headband above his sharingan eye. With a hint of reluctance, nervousness, and a quiver of excitement, Kakashi slowly opened the book, his eyes falling to the pages and beginning to read…

It wasn't until the next day that someone found him, slumped over the back of an armchair, dried blood crusted over his entire face and still dribbling from his nose. When he finally regained consciousness, Kakashi was dumbfounded. Naruto was an even better writer than he had expected.


	12. The Lonliest Happily Ever After

**A/N: **This was my entry for my own challenge on Naruto100, 'My Not So Happy Ending'. I actually don't think this fic is very good at all, but, shrug

**The Lonliest Happily Ever After**

Tsunade was summoned to see the Anbu captain on a request from the team she had led. They had returned from a mission with their captain unconscious and unable to be awakened, victim of a paticuraly strong genjutsu. Even after attempts to break the illusion the Anbu would not wake, instead speaking happily to one who was already dead these past five years.

"How's she doing?" Tsunade asked tersely, waiting for the Anbu at the door to reply. He removed his hawk shaped mask to shake his head.

"Same, Hokage-sama." Tsunade nodded briefly before entering the stark room. Captain of the 9th Anbu squad, Uzuki Yuugao, lay prone on the white hospital bed, her eyes wide open and a smile on her face.

"Isn't it wonderful, Hayate? I've finally made Anbu!" Her hands were folded neatly on her stomach, and the only movement she made was the words from her mouth and the blinking of her eyes. The second Anbu from the squad sat beside the bed, his head bent low and his mask held limply in his right hand.

"Hokage-sama… is there anything you can do?" He asked. Tsunade was silent, walking up to stand beside the woman's bedside.

"And I'm so proud of you, Hayate! You've made special jounin and you're going to be the examiner for the Chuunin exams? And you doubted you could pass!" Uzuki laughed, a rich, warm sound. Tsunade held a hand over the young woman's face, seeking with her chakra for head wounds. There were none, she knew there weren't any. She probed for anything, any notion of the condition the Anbu captain was in. Nothing. The trace of an old genjutsu still hung about, but that was not it. Uzuki suddenly stopped laughing and smiled gently, a single tear tracing its way down her cheek.

"I love you too, Hayate…" Tsunade watched as the Anbu turned his head away as if denying it all. Tsunade pulled up a chair, addressing the man, Uzuki's second-in-command.

"How has she been since Hayate's death? Mentally, that is." The Anbu shrugged, his face painted clearly with concern.

"I thought she was fine, I mean, she refused some missions right after his death, but, I thought she got over it… you know? I know Hayate was her lover, but… she was strong." Tsunade nodded sadly.

"Being an Anbu, being strong, is sometimes more of a burden than some can handle. I'm not saying your Captain wasn't strong enough… but we all have our weak points. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do here. It's all in her head, the genjutsu only started it. In her mind, she's living in the past, and I don't think anything we can do will bring her back. That's where she wants to be, with her lover, when she was happy." The Anbu hung his head. Tsunade stood and slowly left the room, leaving instructions with the nurse at the front desk to have the woman transferred to the life support unit.

For three more years Uzuki lay in that hospital bed, living her past and a future with the one she loved. Her Anbu team came to visit her, first weekly, then monthly. And on the third year, on the anniversary of Hayate's death, Uzuki woke for a moment, staring blankly into the eyes of the nurse attending her.

"He's gone… isn't he?" The nurse knew nothing, and stood silent as Uzuki let a sigh escape her lips as she finally passed. Tsunade read the short report later that day and on the following day, she made sure Uzuki's name was carved on the memorial beside Hayate's…


	13. Your Daughter

**A/N: **This is my revised entry to my own challenge on Naruto100, the last chapter in this collection. I like this one a lot better than the last one.

**Your Daughter**

Every time she looked at her daughter she thought of **him**. The girl's pitch black hair, the little coughing fits she had every now and then that made her mother's heart skip a beat remembering her father's condition. Her gentle, reserved manner, the way she did everything with that inherent grace. She was without a doubt every inch her lover's son.

From the time she was little, her daughter asked many questions about her father. What was he like? Was he brave? Why isn't he here? It broke her mother's heart. She retired from the Anbu to take care of her daughter full time with the help of her daughter's three "uncles", her mother's friends. As her daughter grew and blossomed, her mother watched lovingly. Her daughter was all she had now, after **his** death. And it pained her so that he had never known her. She should have told him that she was late, should have told him she thought she might be pregnant. But she didn't.

Her daughter was skilled with the sword. Her 'uncles' were fond of helping her practice, blocking as their 'niece' tried valiantly to strike them. **His** swords still lay by her bed, waiting to be gifted to her daughter when she was ready. She was so skilled her mother thought she might master the technique before **he** had.

They visited **his** grave once a week, going to lay a flower before the memorial stone and pray. Since she had left the Anbu and was only a reserve now, she felt no shame in crying before the stone and her daughter. Her daughter was usually silent, sometimes speaking quietly to the father she had never known as if he could hear her. She hoped he could.

She kept **his** picture by her bedside, and while she knew that some had been interested, she never pursued another relationship. Her daughter was her life now, and she lived for her. And as she watched her daughter was **him** grow, she couldn't help but smile with pride and touch his name on the memorial fondly.

"Your daughter is truly a beautiful girl, Hayate…"


	14. These Masks We Wear

**A/N: **My first Naruto100 entry that's actually 100 words. Go Me. Entry for "Underneath the Underneath".

**These Masks We Wear**

Anyone who calls themselves a ninja must wear a mask, whether that mask can be seen or not. For ninjas are simply tools of war, to be used at the direction of their superiors. In order to become a tool, to be an unseen killer, takes a person willing to eradicate all feelings, all morals, all inhibitions. Any emotion, rage, sadness, even fear, must be kept hidden behind a mask of cold indifference. And now, standing in the rain with tears running down his face, staring at the dead bodies of his team mates, Shikamaru is glad ANBU wear masks.


	15. Peeping Tom

**A/N:** My second entry for "Underneath the Underneath".

**Peeping Tom**

Even though Hyuuga Neji liked to put on the act that he was perfect in every way that was far from the truth. He managed to keep the mask on until he hit a little thing called puberty. Just like all hormonal male ninjas, he began an intense fascination with the female anatomy. Unfortunately, the only female he was normally near enough to… eye… was his cousin, Hyuuga Hinata. And as much as he swore up and down on all that was holy that he would never, ever, look like that at a relative, much less that weak girl, he finally did. And yes, she did have a semblance of a figure under that jacket. And she didn't wear a shirt under the jacket either.

After that, Neji swore he would be scarred for life, and swore off using his Byakugan to look under a girl's clothes. That lasted about two weeks, blast those pesky hormones. He began wishing that he was on Shikamaru's team, what with Ino and Kurenai, but he still had Tenten around, and she was a girl, even though he had only recently begun thinking of her as such. Tenten had a very nice… figure.

Around Tenten he sometimes had to revert to plain old skills. She knew what the Byakugan was capable off, and if he kept it on too long around her she began to get a little suspicious. Tenten never realized that someone had drilled a hole in her shower. She never would have known, except for the day Lee caught Neji pressed against her house and peering at the wall.

"Neji! What sort of boundless youthful enthusiasm led you to Tenten's home today?" Neji jerked back from the wall and tried his best to look innocent as Lee scurried over. Neji hoped he wasn't looking too suspicious with his hand over the little hole he had drilled.

"What are you doing, Neji?" Lee asked, taking in Neji's stiff stance and the hand over Tenten's wall. Neji shrugged as nonchalantly as he could manage. Lee arched one big, hairy eyebrow and sprung for Neji's hand. A brief scuffle broke out that ended up with Lee exposing the small little hole in the wall. Lee gaped.

"Neji! This looks into Tenten's bathroom! You are violating her privacy and… and…!" Lee spluttered incoherently. Neji cursed to himself and wished he had used the Byakugan today.

"Lee!" Neji said sharply, drawing his teammate's attention. "Sakura wears a red silk bra and thong." Lee fainted. Neji ran for it.

The very next day after regaining consciousness, Lee told on Neji to Gai, and therefore, Tenten. As his female teammate advanced on him with a kunai at the ready, Neji was forced to flee again. As he ran wildly, his feet pounding against the ground and Tenten's curses flying after him like the dogs of war, Neji swore off peeping in general for the rest of his life. This time his vow held him for an entire month.


	16. Akatsuki Fundraising

**A/N:** My entry for'The Theatre' challenge over at Naruto100. I'm actually working on some crack drawings to accompany this that will be up soon.This is a favorite of mine.

**Akatsuki Fundraising**

The Akatsuki was an organization that spanned across every one of the ninja countries. A single country had not felt the tread of an Akatsuki member. And, everyone who met an Akatsuki member had to admit, they had a lot of interesting, awesome, gadgets. They had the best weapons, the coolest clothes, and weapons of mass destruction, all held within a very expensive criminal fortress. They also had several smaller bases scattered around the countries. These things added up to quite the expensive bill.

It was for this reason that the Akatsuki was compelled to raise funds for their organization. The easiest way was just to threaten people out of it. Unfortunately, this had a habit of bringing a country's elite corps to Akatsuki's front door. And this was not a good thing. They were a _secret_ organization. Therefore, more creative methods of fundraising had to be implemented. This is what brought each Akatsuki member to their base in the Grass country one day. No one was allowed to miss the meeting when parts were to be assigned. Rumors that Orochimaru had taken a female body just for the production were being circulated, along with whispers that Zetsu had received a good part, despite speculation.

"Silence." Their leader commanded, standing there with a sheaf of papers in his hand. "We'll be handing out the parts presently." A hush pervaded the cave as their leader cleared his throat. After running through some minor parts, the leader got to the major roles.

"The role of Carlotta will be played by Orochimaru." The serpent smirked triumphantly. "Zetsu will be playing Monsieur Firmin." The plant-like man crossed his arms and nodded. "Sasori shall be cast as Monsieur Andre." The puppet tail snapped irritably. "The role of Madame Giry goes to Deidara." The blonde grinned. No one knew whether the gender fit or not. No one cared either. "I will be playing Raoul." The leader announced.

"And the leading roles, that of the Phantom of the Opera and Christine, are to be played by Kisame and Itachi, respectively." Kisame smiled, Itachi frowned. The leader passed out scripts.

It took about five months to prepare the traveling set, the props, the costumes, and the lines. Deidara ended up doubling as the costume designer, Sasori as the props manager, Zetsu as the advertiser, and Orochimaru as the music director. Kisame and Itachi were given leave since they had so many lines, and Leader was just… their leader. But finally, everything was set.

They debuted in the Grass country, and quickly claimed fame as the traveling Opera troop. Money poured in. Leader was pleased. Critics all across the country praised the Phantom for his emotion and his singing voice. Christine only received slightly less praise. They toured the five main countries as well, making sure to disguise themselves and stay clear of elite ninjas. And when the tour finally ended, the leader went out and used to plentiful funds to buy a demon-soul sucking machine.

**The End**


	17. Six Dollars

**A/N:** My first entry for the Naruto100 'Modern Times' challenge. Title has been changed since then.

**Six Dollars**

When Jiraiya asked her out on a date, Tsunade was hardly surprised. She knew the man had a crush on her. It had been evident since they were children. She was mainly just impressed that he had come up with the balls to ask her out directly instead of just hitting on her. So she said yes. She regretted it.

At ten past seven Jiraiya finally showed up at her apartment and picked her up. He assured her that even though he was late, they would still make the movie. And even though he was broke, he would still manage to get them in. Tsunade was starting regret her decision. They were supposedly going to see 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith', but she doubted it. Jiraiya would probably be sneaking off across the hall to watch 'Captain Lust'. Oh well. It was a free movie.

When they finally pulled up at the movie theater, Tsunade was confused as Jiraiya led her around the theater to the back entrance. One eyebrow arched skeptically, Tsunade watched as her date rapped three times on the back door. To her surprise, Orochimaru poked his pale head out the door, his long hair hidden in his theater employee hat. He pouted upon seeing them both.

"Look guys, I found out I'm not allowed to sneak people in to see the movies." Jiraiya started to splutter incoherently, and Tsunade sighed and crossed her arms. She would be the one who ended up paying for this date after all. Orochimaru smirked and proffered a nasty mop.

"But don't worry. If you wait until my boss takes his break, I can get you in to see the bathrooms." Jiraiya turned sheepishly to Tsunade and fished in his pocket, coming up with about six dollars.

"Anyone up for Burger King?"


	18. Trigger

**A/N:** My second entry to Naruto100's 'Modern Times' challenge. Couldn't resist.

**Trigger**

Naruto tried to steady his breathing, standing in the alley with his gun at the ready. Beside him was an old rusted-over door, but it was that door that he was guarding so fervently. If the raid was successful, _he_might be coming out that door. 'He' being Orochimaru, leader of an infamous drug cartel. The man was the biggest crime lord in the region since the man known as 'the Kyuubi'. But for Naruto, it was personal.

Orochimaru had killed his police chief, Sarutobi, who had been like a father to Naruto. He had also killed more agents than any other. Orochimaru had been one of the most promising policemen when he was younger, along with Tsunade, now head of narcotics, and Jiraiya, head of riot squad. But when he had been passed over for the chief position, he had disappeared, taking with him several other agents. It wasn't until later that they found the dissected bodies in an underground lab and the organs all over the black market. But even worse than that, Orochimaru had taken away one of the few precious things in Naruto's life. His friend Sasuke.

Naruto blamed himself. He should have noticed the drugs disappearing from the evidence locket. He should have noticed Sasuke acting weird, making excuses, becoming distant. Sakura noticed, and she came to Naruto begging for his help. Sasuke had begun even rejecting his girlfriend, not just his friends and fellow agents. Naruto waited, hoping his friend would return to normal. He waited to long. By the time he was ready to go to Tsunade, then promoted to police chief, Sasuke had gone.

Drawing himself back into the present, Naruto went over the plan in his head. The S.W.A.T team, led by Jiraiya, would bust into the warehouse in the midst of the deal taking place. Tsunade and her narcotics squad would quickly apprehend the drugs, while the riot squad would subdue the resistance. If their criminal analysists were correct, Orochimaru wouldn't actually be at the deal. His right hand man, "Doctor" Kabuto, would be leading the deal, along with Orochimaru's newest prodigy… Sasuke. There was only one exit. Sasuke would come out this door.

At the strike of 2 am the gunfire sounded and the warehouse raid began. Naruto's heart was racing as he locked his eyes on the door. He checked his gun before the squeal of rust grated across the alley. First came the "doctor", toting two cougar magnums. Naruto hid himself in the shadows, waiting for his true objective. The squad outside the alley would take care of Kabuto. Then Sasuke shouldered his way out the door with an M203 in his grip.

His friend had changed so much. His hair had been dyed stark white and a strange x-shaped mark now adorned his face, which had been blackened. And with eyes distorted by some kind of drug, Sasuke turned to face his former partner. Sasuke smirked, cornered. Naruto closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.


	19. Youthful Love

**A/N: **My entry to the Naruto100 "Squick" challenge, which is a pairing or situation that you think is icky. And I think Lee x Sakura is icky.

**Youthful Love**

Sakura moaned, burrowing her face in the pillow and shifting under the sheets. She had been having _that_ dream again. She felt like barfing. With another groan she dragged herself from her sheets and made her way to the door with the plan of visiting her friend the porcelain god. However, her plans were rudely interrupted by what she saw when she opened her.

Rock Lee stood in front of her, framed in the doorway. Wearing only a green thong, a very scanty green thong, and his leg warmers, he flashed a grin and a thumbs up. Sakura was stunned for a moment, her mouth wide open as she struggled for words.

"L-Lee… what are you doing here?" She spluttered, backing away slowly. Lee came into her room with a grin.

"Sakura! I have come to you as Sasuke said you wished! We are to make love with the power of youthful exuberance!" His furry eyebrows drew her horrified gaze. His round eyes and three eyelashes made her shudder. And his thong began bulging. With a scream, Sakura tore her gaze away and ran for the window, the hot blooded blue beast of Konoha on her heels.

She grabbed the window sill and tugged upwards as hard as she could. It was locked. Lee latched onto her shoulders and spun her around, his lips puckered. Sakura tried to scream but her lips were soon covered by Lee's own. She tried to recoil, but he held her fast, fumbling hands roaming her body in a way he probably assumed was romantic. His… bulge pressed against her thigh.

With a scream Sakura sat straight up in her bed, covered in sweat. She was having _that _dream again. With a groan she reached over for her alarm clock… and encountered something warm. Lee rolled over and it was then she realized she was completely naked and so was he. Sakura looked between the young man and herself… and screamed.


	20. Lady Luck

**A/N:** This was my entry to the Naruto100 'Games' challenge.

**Lady Luck**

Tsunade needed to borrow some more money. She knew this the minute she walked into Regasu, a large town on the outskirts of the Sand Country. The slot machines whirled by her in a blur as the many lights dazzled her vision. Shizune has a terse look on her face, carrying Tonton in her arms. Tsunade grinned and looked for the nearest gambling institution.

After borrowing a significant amount of money, Tsunade hit the casino. Holding Tonton firmly in her lap with Shizune hovering over her shoulder, she inserted her money into the slot machine, watching as her credits appeared.

"Tsunade-sama… maybe you should only bet the minimum." Shizune said hopefully, pointing to the little button labeled 'Bet One'. Tsunade grinned.

"That's how they make all the money. You have to bet big to win big, Shizune." Her voice was confident, but she was a little nervous, almost, as she pushed the 'Maximum Bet' button and pulled the handle on the side of the machine. Tonton wriggled a little on her lap as the slot machine slowed and finally stopped. Jackpot. Something bad had to be coming her way.

The very next day, Jiraiya showed up at her front door.


	21. Genocide

**A/N: **This was my entry to Naruto100's 'Betrayal' challenge.

**Genocide**

Itachi had known ever since his little brother had been born that the boy would inevitably be doomed to follow in his older brother's shadow. After all, Itachi was a genius, he had been born one. And no family had more than one prodigy after all. Not even the noble Uchiha clan. And Itachi was the family prodigy. Not Sasuke.

But even though Sasuke wasn't a prodigy, he was still talented. Anyone without talent didn't fare well with the Uchihas. Itachi didn't have compassion, he was an ANBU leader, but he did have… something. Something that made him seethe with hatred watching his father belittle Sasuke. Sasuke wasn't Itachi. He would never be Itachi. He was Sasuke. Fugaku didn't seem to see that.

Shisui knew, before he died at least. Mikoto knew. But the military police didn't know. What did they know about Shisui? About Sasuke? About Itachi? They knew nothing, not them, and certainly not Fugaku. That's why Itachi thought it was funny, what Fugaku said when he found his elder son.

"You have betrayed our clan, Itachi." He had said, after his wife had been slain. Itachi had glanced down at Mikoto, the woman who had birthed him, and felt not one trace of remorse. He had been a little surprised that she had attacked first, but other than that, he felt no compassion. It was with a smile that he turned to his sire, idly cleaning his dam's blood off his blade.

"No, father. I haven't betrayed you." Itachi gave a low, grim chuckle. "You betrayed us."


	22. Akatsuki Strikes Back

**A/N:** This was my entry for the Naruto100 'Hollywood Style' challenge. If you count the 'Star Wars Gangsta Rap' as Hollywood.

**Akatsuki Strikes Back**

Watching his mentor, his teacher, his friend, being struck down by the leader of Akatsuki was something Naruto never imagined he would witness. But he could only watch in horror as the glowing blade slid smoothly through Jiraiya's chest. Ero-sennin slumped forward and fell, unheeding of the cry that tore itself from Naruto's throat. The smile of the Akatsuki leader was all he saw as Jiraiya breathed his last. Next thing Naruto knew he was at the mysterious leader's throat.

"That's right Naruto, release your anger. You fight better when your life's in danger." The leader said with a smirk, blocking each of the young man's blows with his glowing blade. Naruto snarled, the Kyuubi's chakra rising up in him like bile in his throat, choking him. The claws began extending from his fingers as the Kyuubi began to take over, the red chakra beginning to surround his form. His transformation was suddenly interrupted, however, by a searing pain that erupted from his right wrist and brought him to his knees.

"Jiraiya could never bother… telling you about your father…" The leader said smoothly, holding his blade to Naruto's throat. Clenching his jaws through the pain, Naruto held his bleeding stump of an arm to his chest, looking up at the leader of Akatsuki with hatred in his eyes.

"He told me enough, he told me Kyuubi killed him!" The leader smiled. His face was concealed by a jutsu that revealed only an outline, his eyes, and mouth, but the jutsu began to flicker and fade as Naruto looked on.

"Well, there is something I must reveal then." The jutsu dropped completely, revealing a shock of blonde hair and an all too familiar face. Yondaime. Naruto's mouth fell open in shock as the former Hokage spoke.

"I am your father."


	23. A Trip To The Zoo

**A/N:** This is my entry for the Naruto100 'Cheesy Pick Up Lines' challenge.

**A Trip To The Zoo**

Orochimaru had a day off. Such a thing as this did not happen very often. The sannin was determined to enjoy it. However, there was one thing that bothered him about today. He was feeling a little sex-deprived. Kimimaro wasn't any fun anymore, because there was no fun in having hot gay sex with a comatose bedridden person. It just didn't work. Plus Kabuto had said the boy wouldn't get better that way. Poo.

Kabuto was proving hard to catch as well, considering all of his time was being spent in Konoha, masquerading as a leaf ninja. There was no time to do anything there either. Sasuke was perfect, but he hadn't come over to Orochimaru yet. The snake like man shivered in anticipation. However, running your own country had its perks, considering Orochimaru could have his pick of sexual partners. But there were no men suitable, perfect enough for him. Oh, true, there were many beautiful women willing to bed him, but that just didn't do it for the fabled nin. He needed a pretty boy. Preferably a young pretty boy.

So, it was on this bright and sunny Saturday that Orochimaru decided to visit the zoo. He had heard that the snake display had been upgraded (with generous grants from the snake sannin himself, of course). The zoo managers fell over themselves hurrying Orochimaru to the retile exhibit and left him to his own devices, staring delightedly at the albino boa constrictor.

When the announcer came over the intercom to advertise the live snake handly, Orochimaru had a front row seat. Although, as the handler came out, Orochimaru was watching the handsome young man more than the beautiful reptiles. The young man had shoulder length brown hair that looked perfectly tousled. He was lightly muscled, with a delicate face. Good enough.

After the show had ended, Orochimaru hung back until all the snotty brats had filed past to oh and ah at the snake the young man was holding. Orochimaru sauntered up shortly after, turning on all of his considerable sex appeal (tongue included).

"So…" he asked the handler, caressing the head of the exquisite mamba wrapped around the boy's arm. "How big is your snake, exactly?"


	24. Assassin's Alley

A/N: This was my entry for the 'In The Real World' challenge at Naruto100.

**Assassin's Alley**

There is a street on the outskirts of the bustling town that is affectionately dubbed Assassin's Alley. Anything you need for the killing of another can be procured here, quickly and discreetly. From poisons to weapons, everything is at your disposal, if you know where to find it. Some of the most creative killers in the city either ran shops or frequented the area, free from the consequences of their actions as long as they stayed within the Alley's boundaries. The law enforcement was afraid to touch it, as their last attempt at any type of arrest has ended with half their force carried out on stretchers.

The Leader of the Alley was unquestionable. Hardly anyone knew his face anymore, he hid himself away and guided things from the background, managing his lawless hole. He had originally been in the firearms business, but had amassed his true fortune through many smuggling operations before rising to the top of the totem pole. If you needed anything, you asked the Boss. He usually came through for his subordinates, as long as you paid his fees.

And then there was the young prodigy, heir to the politician Uchiha family. It was a well-known fact among the citizens of the more law abiding type that the fratricide perpetrator was somewhere within the murks of the Alley, but no one dared to fetch him. A hypnotist and weapon specialist, he dealt in drugs of confusion and hallucinogens, and the weapons with which to dispatch your befuddled enemies. He was not to be messed with by the others, under orders of the Boss.

The Uchiha's business partner was one Hoshigaki Kisame, though most people couldn't believe this was his true name. The man has undergone so many surgeries that he could hardly be considered normal, with his gill-slit tattoos, blue skin, and filed teeth. He dealt exclusively in swords, a primitive form of killing, but nevertheless efficient. He had once been a member of the Seven Swords of Mist, an exclusive terrorist cell that had carried out numerous political assassinations. But he led a quite life now, toting about that seven foot sword of his.

And then there was Zetsu, the Boss's right hand man, and the reason the boss knew everything about you the minute you walked into his domain. A spy specialist, an ex-member of the government's top bureau of investigation, he could keep tabs on anything and anyone. His devices were almost undetectable, untraceable, and untapable. He sequestered himself away from the world in the Boss's headquarters with his schizophrenia, his glowing monitors and his bonsai plants, his only contact to others in the Alley through the devices given from the Boss to his chosen subordinates.

The famed terrorist responsible for bombings all around the world, Deidara, also kept shop in Assassin's Alley. He was accredited with the bombing of a church whose mass was in session, the destruction of a chain of hotels along a beach, the explosion in a fault that triggered a Richter scaled 8 earthquake, and the bomber's personal favorite, the bombing of a firework warehouse on New Year's Eve last year. He would get you any kind of bomb, and you'd get it for free if you showed proof of artistic ability.

The bomber's business partner was the Scorpion of the Red Sand, a maker of toys of the dangerous variety. Usually used in the deaths of children, his play puppets and dolls administered fatal doses of poison through carefully concealed needles triggered by touch. He was fond of using arsenic for his kills meant to last awhile, and strychnine for the quickies. But he had many favorites.

There were many more denizens of Assassin's Alley, but those were among the most well known. Law enforcement quivered at the mention of a possible foray into the lawless den, and the governor yearly wrestled with the moral dilemma of whether to call in the National Guard. But they wouldn't do that. It was too dangerous after all…


	25. Last Trip Home

A/N: My entry for Naruto100's 'Somewhere I Have Never Travelled' challenge.

**Last Trip Home:**

It is raining, when he leaves her. He is all smiles, laughs, jokes, but she can see through him. She has always been able to see through him, even though he is able to close his heart as easily as one can close a fist. His eyes give everything away to her. They speak louder than his voice, which is bright with happiness no matter how his eyes are screaming.

He's never been to the country of clouds, he says, scratching the back of his head as he stands on their porch, a sheet of rain pouring off the roof behind him. It will be fine, he says. He'll bring her back a souvenir when he finishes his mission. Maybe a nice kimono, or a set of porcelain, thought he laughs when he says this, and says they'd probably break on the way back.

She is silent as he speaks, her hands clenched before her as she fights an old habit to twiddle her thumbs. There is a feeling, a gut feeling, that his mission is more dangerous than he wants to tell her. S-Class, surely, for he is a jounin, a candidate for Hokage someday, and he and his team are known as the best Konoha had. But he tells her it will be easy, one week at the most, and then he'll be back, he promises. He promises her with a smile, and a thumbs up, and she knows he means to return to her.

Sensing her unease, he embraces her, just holding her quietly for a moment, the only sound around them is the rain and the mingling of their breaths. But the moment passes all to quickly, and he is ready to leave, his team is standing at the steps, the dark haired Uchiha leaning against the fence and the pink haired medic standing near with an umbrella over them both.

And then he is gone.

It is another week before he comes back in a body bag. When the ANBU come to their home and knock on the door, she is silent again, for she knows what lies in the black bag they carry. He is not as… damaged as the rest of his team, and they will allow her to see him one last time. His name will be put on the memorial, and she will receive the stipend of a widowed ninja's wife. But she isn't listening to them.

Looking down at him, his cold body laid out on her porch, she cannot see his eyes. They are closed forever, and she dares not open them. They would be lifeless, and he was anything but that. The hole through his stomach doesn't bother her, she's seen worse. His arms are crossed over his chest, and she holds them gently, wondering why they seem so small. And on the day Naruto was brought home to her for the last time, Hinata noticed that it was raining again.


	26. What The Akatsuki Is All About

A/N: My entry for the 'Zetsu' challenge at Naruto100

**What The Akatsuki Is All About:**

None of the other members knew where their Leader had found him. He just kind of, showed up one day. The only thing they'd figured out about him was that he had a plant on his head. The man, if he could be called that, didn't wear his hitai-ate, so they had no idea of his origin, though Itachi was firmly convinced that he hailed from Kusagakure. No one knew anything, though not for lack of trying. Even Leader professed no knowledge of the man. But, wasn't Akatsuki all about mystery? Yes, yes they were.

So Zetsu incorporated himself into their organization. He was a scout, a tracker, and wasn't around much. When he did, he never ate. Kisame assumed the plant-man worked on photosynthesis. After all, he always got wilt-y when it rained. Kisame, on the other hand, loved rain. The two naturally didn't agree on weather. Zetsu _had_ arrived on a stormy night, however cliché that was. Leader had brought him in during the middle of a meeting and introduced the plant-man as their newest member. The group had stared at the naked man, (he had been unclothed, disregarding the green plant anchored to his shoulders and growing across his body), taken in the sight of his two-toned skin, and shrugged. After all, wasn't the Akatsuki all about weird? Yes, of course they were.

The first problem had arisen when Sasori had found the man attempting to devour one of his cat puppets. That had not gone over well. The puppeteer had been pissed off for days, muttering to himself as his skilled hands set to work removing the teeth marks from the cat's wooden shell. Why the Scorpion of the Red Sand kept a cat puppet was beyond the grasps of the other's minds. They all just didn't ask. Zetsu had sulked around for a while, avoiding the puppeteer, and would show up randomly later with human body parts, his face soaked in blood. However, wasn't the Akatsuki all about cannibalism? Well, sort of.

Possibly the only member Zetsu got along with was Deidara. But everyone knew Deidara was weird like that anyway. The plant man would sit in the sun for hours, watching the Iwa-nin sculpt his clay, only to blow it up upon completion. Most of the other members always thought Deidara was wasting his time, making masterpieces only to blow them up later, but apparently Zetsu did not share this philosophy. The two would sit for hours, Zetsu's mismatched eyes staring intently as Deidara's hands worked the clay, the hands in his palms assisting. And then, at the end, the clay exploded. Deidara would chuckle, and after a while, Zetsu would make a little happy hum as well, the fly trap on his head snapping open and shut. And wasn't the Akatsuki all about making friends? Absolutely not… but perhaps they could have exceptions.


	27. Wind Daughter

A/N: My entry for the Naruto100 'Mythical Beasts' challenge, this is based on an Indian (I think) mermaid story.

**Wind Daughter:**

Once upon a time, a young man, heir to a prestigious clan found that it was time to take a bride. Women from all over the world were brought before him in the hopes that they would be chosen to produce the next generation of the famed Uchiha clan. Some went more than willing, but others were forced by fathers or leaders in hopes that they would provide a valuable link to the Leaf Country, and the Uchiha clan, through marriage.

The heir to the Uchiha was bored with the procession, as woman after beautiful woman was trotted out before him. They all were the same, none of them appealed to him. (There were whispers of the prince's sexual orientation, but an heir was needed, and would be provided, like it or not.) But there was one woman that caught the eyes of the Uchiha.

She was a blond haired, green eyed beauty with the look of someone untamed and wild. She hailed from the Sand country, a true daughter of the elements. She was visiting Leaf with her two brothers, unaware of the selection going on. The Uchiha heir could not pass her by.

In order to cement the union of countries, Sasuke of Leaf wed Temari of the Sand in a grand ceremony. It was well known that neither approved of the match, but both went through with it, whether out of a sense of duty, it was never known. All that was known was that the Uchiha heir lay with his bride rarely, but within a year she had become heavy with child.

The Leaf Country rejoiced. Soon the Uchiha clan, their most prestigious and well known family, would be tied to Sand not only through marriage, but the Uchiha heir would also be niece or nephew of the Kazekage! It was something to look forward to. However, as the day of the birth drew nigh, something terrible happened in the Uchiha house.

Before they had wed, both of her brothers had sworn to Uchiha Sasuke that if he ever harmed their sister, the marriage would be annulled and she would return to the country of her birth. If this was not enough, Sasuke knew that should he ever displease his willful wife, he wouldn't need her brother's promise to take her from him. She would leave under her own power.

But as the anticipation mounted, so did the temper of the Uchiha shorten. And when the physician spoke the news of the child's gender, the man's temper snapped. He did not have control of himself until he realized that his hand had connected with his wife's cheek. There was a moment of silence as Temari glared at him, her eyes hardened and her hand raised protectively over her swollen belly. Sasuke stood over her, his hand still raised, and apology on the tip of his tongue. But before it was uttered, she had gone, leaving only a breeze behind her.

The Leaf country mourned the loss of their Uchiha bride, not only for the child she had been carrying, but also for the ties to Sand that had been lost. But it was only five years later that the red haired Kazekage and his puppet-master brother showed up on the Uchiha doorstep with a young child in their arms. She was beautiful, with a shock of reddish-brown hair and green eyes, all traits from the Sand. Her mother was nowhere to be found however, and she was never to return to her husband and her adopted country. She had returned to the Wind where she belonged.


	28. Symbolism

A/N: Not for any challenge, written on a whim. Orochimaru-centric.

**Symbolism:**

He was outside, watching one of the small ponds near his laboratory. There was a frog being devoured by a snake near the water's edge. The irony was not lost on him, but not a sound escaped his cold lips. His hands, bandaged and useless, hung limply beside him, driving him insane with his sudden vulnerability.

He concentrated, putting all of his energy into clenching his fist. Nothing. He cursed mentally, slinking into a sitting position on a large boulder. He closed his eyes, but then again, they weren't his, in a sense. He could sense a small presence in the back of his head, a small, pitiful mass of consciousness. His new body's previous occupant, Yoko, was still there, if it could even be called that.

His long black hair hung in front of his pale face, hiding him from view. Kabuto was off on a mission, and he kept most of his servants very, very, far away. It was at times like this… times when he was facing setbacks, that he wondered when he would obtain his goal, whether all of it was worth it at all. But those thoughts never lasted very long.

But when they did come, when the thoughts did creep into his head, seeping into his pitiful excuse of a heart, he truly did wonder. Oh, he desired power, but who actually wanted to live forever? He did. He loved setting things in motion, setting up his little dominos and then flicking one over, watching them all begin the fall.

But when all the dominos fell, he had to pick them all back up again, arrange them all again in perfect place. And that took time. But didn't he have all the time in the world? There would always be a beautiful body waiting for him, after all. But every now and then he closed his eyes and saw his Konoha laboratory, the dissected bodies, the organs, the blood, and didn't smile. He saw Tsunade, Jiraiya, the Sandaime… and he actually wondered.

_What if I had become Hokage… instead of that brat?_ But always these thoughts quickly turned sour. _I should have been the one chosen. I was the strongest, the most powerful… it should have been ME!_ He cackled then, his long tongue sensing the air. His bandaged hands hung suspended as he stood and laughed cruelly. There was a slug on the ground by his rock.

He plucked the hapless creature up with the toe of his foot and tossed it at the feasting snake. It snapped the slimy thing up in a single swallow and then finished devouring it's frog meal. He grinned. Orochimaru continued to laugh and then walked back into his laboratory, leaving just in time to avoid seeing an orange fox emerge from the brush and in turn to devour the snake.


	29. Box In The Snow

**A/N: **This was my entry for Naruto100's 'Boxes' challenge.

**Box In The Snow**

It was snowing and she was walking home. Her breath was misting in the air and she was rubbing her ungloved hands together, trying to keep them warm. Keeping warm when training was one thing, walking in it was another. Her hair, which had grown long in the past dew years, was tucked into her hood, keeping her neck warm at least. She was lost in thought, going over her combat training with her teammates, when she heard the sound.

It was a low whining, a soft barking noise that she immediately recognized as that of a puppy. Slowing, she turned and headed down the side alley to her right.

"_Daddy! It's a puppy! Can we keep it!" She was eight, and being led down the street by her father's hand. The puppy was a dirty white, with blue eyes, and barking happily, running down the street after her. Her father continued walking, not stopping._

"_Daddy!" She said again, bending to try and pet the small dog as she tugged against her father's hand to try and make him stop. But he only continued, pulling her rapidly away from the puppy. She struggled, she whined, but he kept on walking. The puppy whined, nipped playfully at her heels. He father kicked it away. The small animal gave a high pitched yelp and slunk off. She had cried._

There was a puppy in a tattered cardboard box. The box was filled with a small layer of snow, and the black and white puppy was shivering, whining loudly. The box was dirty and sagging, it had been there for a while. The animal was thin, a ragged coated mutt.

With a small croon, Hinata scooped the puppy from the box and into the shelter of her jacket. It snuggled against her chest, barking happily. Hinata scratched behind its ears, turning back to her house. Her father wasn't in charge of her life anymore. She was.


	30. A Poisonous Sort of Love

**A/N:** Done for a fic request at my journal.

**A Poisonous Sort of Love**

She never knew why she let him into her home, let him into her bed. She thought she was smarter than that. She thought she had more loyalty than that. But it never seemed like a betrayal when he smiled. It never seemed like treason when she had his name on her lips. She didn't know why.

He was a traitor, cut and dry, black and white. You couldn't word it any other way. And she was the assistant to the Hokage, anyone would think she was trading secrets with him, betraying the village. But they never spoke of such things. Their meetings always started tersely, they exchanged insults, they sometimes exchanged blows. But somehow they always ended by making love.

He wasn't often still there the next day, he'd leave her alone, return to whatever duty he had been doing before. She didn't know if his master knew what they did, she knew her's knew well enough. But she never said a thing, looking conveniently the other way with a wry smile. Either way she was always scared. Scared of getting caught. Scared of being discovered. Scared of losing him. That most of all.

So when he came to her bloody, came to her hurt, she didn't hesitate to hide him. To protect him. The sound ninja at her door were followed closely by those from the leaf, both parties pursuing a different target. They could hold out… together.

When Tsunade came by the apartment a day later, she stepped gingerly about the floor, avoiding the blood and bits of flesh still strewn about. She had quarantined the area after the poisonous cloud had been spotted, and it had just now dissipated. There were no survivors. But she couldn't help but cry when she saw her assistant's lifeless body propped against the wall with the head of Orochimaru's right hand man cradled gently in her lap. Shizune and Kabuto were smiling.


	31. Last Chance For Love

**A/N:** Done for Naruto100's 'Last Chance' challenge.

**Last Chance For Love**

Shizune never did come to realize what it was about him that she loved. He was everything she needed, it seemed, though when she thought about it, it never seemed that way. He was on the enemy's side, he was the enemy's right hand man. And she was the second to the Hokage. Opposing forces, white and black, oil and water. But they mixed together fine.

She couldn't quite remember how they started seeing each other. Every time they met they always started out with insults, maybe they would come to blows. But they always ended up making love. It never seemed traitorous when she said his name, or like a betrayal when he kissed her.

She always kept herself in reserve to be betrayed by him. He was the enemy after all. He had gotten stronger than her, more trained than her, despite the different in age between them. She had years on him, but he was stronger, even more mature at times. She expected that he was using her, just trying to get inside information. But he never brought up anything like that, he never hurt her, never pried. He only came. She began to let him into her home, into her bed. And she never regretted it.

Maybe she did it because it was her last chance at love. Maybe because she wanted to do something daring, do something that crossed the line. But as she watched Kabuto roll out of bed with a smile at her, Shizune though maybe it was just because she loved him.


	32. Where He Loved Him

**A/N:** Done for a squick challenge at my journal. Oww...

**Where He Loved Him**

Konohamaru cried when his grandfather died. He cried because his chance to be Hokage died with him. He hadn't said anything when his grandfather had smiled and patted his knee, his pipe clenched between his teeth. He hadn't said anything because he knew that at least that way he had a better chance that Naruto did at being Hokage. Because his grandfather did touch Naruto like he touched him. Which meant that Naruto wasn't going to be Hokage. Until his grandfather died. So when he walked up to his grandfather's body, he laid a small hand on the place where his grandfather used to love him. He never realized why his family thought it was so wrong.


	33. Great Expectations

**A/N:** Done for Naruto100's 'Something To Prove' challenge.

**Great Expectations**

She had always looked at her male team mates and cursed the things that made her feminine. She had breasts, so she bound them. She bled monthly, so she never made a fuss. She had full lips, so she kept them in a thin line. She had hips, so she covered them with loose clothing. She had small shoulders, so she squared them.

She did this because she was female. Because _they_ were male. They were strong. And females were weak. She had been told this often. By her father, by her brothers, by her teachers, by her teammates. She was gruff, rough, because maybe if she proved herself, they would look upon her not as a young woman, but as a comrade, genderless in combat.

She was bound by her gender. Bound with hatred and bound by men's expectations. They expected her to be weak. They expected her to be simpering. They expected her to a woman. Well… she would show them, Tayuya would show them how women fought.


	34. Focus

**A/N:** My entry for Naruto100's 'Vision' challenge

**Focus:**

Sometimes, when he is feeling particularly philosophical, Sasuke believes his life may have been happier if he had never developed the Sharingan. When it is activated, when his eyes burn red and the black pinwheels spin, everything around him, everything he sees, takes on a vibrancy that cannot be compared to anything else in the world.

The blades of grass are sharp, and he can pick out each individual one, even trace the dark green veins within. The slightest movement, even the scuttle of a beetle, can be seen without effort. The flicker of an eyelid can be seen from a far distance, and a bead of sweat rolling down the side of the enemy's face is clear in focus.

Deactivating the Sharingan is like watching life wither. The landscape loses its luster, and people lose their realness. He likes, when he looks at someone, to activate the Sharingan, if only to preserve in his mind the way they look when the world is in focus.

When he leaves Konoha, he does not look at Sakura with the Sharingan.

He does not want those tears rolling down her cheeks to be etched into his memory.


	35. Cleansing Rain

**A/N: **This was my entry for Naruto100's 'Sin' challenge.

**Cleansing Rain:**

It was raining. The water cascaded down from the stormy heavens and washed every trace of him from the village. Every step he had taken throughout Konoha was flooded from the earth; everything he had touched was cleansed. When the rain stopped and the puddles were all that was left, Sakura left her apartment to find no trace of Uchiha Sasuke.

Somewhere inside, she blamed herself. When she walked by the stone bench she saw herself, younger, less aware of the world, speaking of how orphans could never understand. _It was my fault. Of course it was mine._ She didn't know how to approach him, how to know him. But she did know how to love him.

_I didn't know this would happen._ She tried to forgive herself. Was there anything she could have done to prevent him from leaving? From thinking that the only way to avenge his clan was to betray everything he had ever fought for and leave for Sound?

Sakura sunk into the stone bench, letting her face fall into her hands. She was still and silent, letting her mind wallow in the weighing her responsibility. She could still see him standing there, that sword on his back, speaking of severing ties and killing his brother. And she could still see him leaving.

"Ugly- I mean, Sakura-san?" Sakura looked up quickly, seeing her new teammate standing beside her.

"Oh, Sai…" She was too preoccupied to even notice him trying to get away with calling her that nickname. "What is it?"

"I noticed you laying your head in your hands, and my books tell me that is a sign of despondency." Sai was still awkward with this 'friendship' matter, and it was apparent in the way he kept switching his weight from foot to foot. "It recommends me offering my shoulder and asking you to unburden your soul."

Sakura smiled wanly, trying to find words.

"Sai… is it a sin for me to still love him?" The young man sat down, his face displaying a bit of puzzlement.

"Do you… want to love him? Like to?"

"I… don't know…"

"Does he make you happy?" Sakura blinked. Sai pushed her. "Does he?"

"I… all I have left of him is pain." Sai nodded as if the matter was simple and clean-cut.

"Then yes. It's a sin to love him. But what is a sin?"

"Thanks, Sai…" Sakura smiled a little and kicked a pebble into a puddle.


	36. Place Your Bets

**A/N:** My entry for Naruto100's 'Animals' challenge.

**Place Your Bets:**

The Akatsuki didn't like to admit that they sometimes ran out of money. It was embarrassing. After all, they were an S-ranked criminal organization. They should all be millionaires, should all be rolling in cash! Didn't they have backers? No, because backers expect things from you and the Akatsuki was not in the business of catering to anyone.

Itachi had previously been a rich man. But killing off your family does something to the inheritance. Kisame had left his village with only his sword. Zetsu and Sasori did not eat. Deidara had a habit of compulsively spending whatever money he procured. Hidan just begged off of religious organizations. Kakuzu stole. The Leader was penniless, after spending all his money on equipment. They were all in a perpetual state of dead-brokedness.

This did not stop the infamous Akatsuki however. They were strong! They persevered! (Okay, they robbed a few banks…) But after the first bank robbing people started to get a little suspicious, and the last thing they needed was unwanted attention whilst they were moving covertly about countries. (Sasori had to remind Deidara constantly that covertly meant no explosions.)

In order to raise money for food and the like, some pairs got… creative.

"Step right up, step right up!" The blonde, dressed in plainclothes, beckoned to the onlookers in the trade town streets. "We have two marvelous contenders today, and even more if we have a challenger! Two prime, powerful stag beetles, ready to fight!"

Sasori stood on one side of the clay ring, looking rather displeased. He did not make puppets to raise money. He made them for… well… he couldn't divulge that information. But the man they'd uncovered at the bar last night looked awful excited. Sasori couldn't tell you why he looked excited over fighting stag beetles of all things.

"Place your bets! In this corner, we have Gogi's Hideki!" The man from the bar shook his hands over his head. "And in this corner we have Sachiro's Sasori!" Sasori responded to the fake name, giving the barest wave. The gathered crowd was placing bets, money changing through Deidara's hands fast enough that no one noticed the small mouths subtly swallowing some of the larger bills.

When the fight began Sasori twitched his fingers slightly to control the beetle, heading straight for the barman's unsuspecting flash and blood beetle. The horns locked, and Sasori's beetle (Deidara thought it would be cute to name it Sasori…) was easily winning.

"Make it look real, un" Deidara whispered in Sasori's ear as he paraded around the small ring, working the crowd, mostly drunken men, into a frenzy. Sasori sighed, letting his puppet back off, the battle drawn out. But in the end, wood won over carapace. Deidara collected his winnings and they made off into the sunset.

By the time the drunken men finally came to the conclusion that the stag beetle than won had been made of wood, and therefore was a cheater, Sasori and Deidara were long gone.


	37. The Thing About Dogs

**A/N:** Another entry for Naruto100's 'Animals' challenge.

**The Thing About Dogs:**

Hinata has always wanted a puppy. They were cute, they were cuddly. Most little girls at one point in time want one. Throughout her childhood she holds on to the hope that she may one day be able to have one. Her father constantly refuses her, insisting that no "mangy mutt" will ever be allowed into his household. Hanabi is allergic to animal hair. Neji just dislikes them.

When she is assigned to her genin team she is secretly excited that the boy from the Inuzuka clan is on her team. His dog, Akamaru, is adorable, and he always let her think she was being sneaky when she brought the dog treats hidden in her pockets. Akamaru warmed up to her after the first week, his tail wagging and a happy bark escaping him whenever she approached.

He was, Hinata thinks, a super-puppy. He was cute and cuddly when he was comfortable, and a vicious, cunning fighter in battle. She thought the same could be used to describe Kiba. He was cute as well, handsome maybe, and a lovable figure about Konoha. When fighting however, he was ruthless, fast, vicious, and strong. Good traits for them both.

She figured when she and Kiba moved in together that she could sort of consider Akamaru as her dog as well (though she knew his first owner would always and forever be Kiba). It was after the move, after they'd both made jounin, that Hinata began appreciating Akamaru even more. Her younger sister Hanabi, still the favorite heir, was unable to come and condescend to them (Hanabi called this visiting). Their apartment was covered in dog hair.


	38. Drought

**A/N:** Entry for Naruto100's 'Song Titles' challenge. Song used was 'Drought' by Vienna Teng.

**Drought:**

Sunagakure was a dry, desert city trying to subsist beneath the sun that beat down upon them and heated the ground beneath their feet. Summer never moved forward. The days were always hot. The nights were always cold. It was a landscape of a sort of merry and desperate drought.

Shinobi in Suna were hard and brittle. They were raised in such a place that they began to become like. The heat was anchored in the dust and the only thing they breathed was the taste of dried-up hopes that had shriveled in the baking sun.

The Wind Country shinobi wrapped their lives in the brilliance of death. The craved the darkness, craved to put their backs against the wall, and craved to be broken by ice, a coolness they could never comprehend. They drowned, they carried, they buried, and they fought.

Looking over the balcony at the city sprawled before him, Gaara mused that he was the only one among his siblings who truly belonged in this desolate landscape.

Temari was secretly a flower, trying to bloom in a place where most wilted. She seemed to belong in Konoha, with that man she spoke of, in a place full of green and jubilance.

Kankuro couldn't taste those dried-up hopes, because he dreamed and built with his own hands and saw within the cold unfeeling joints of his puppets a way to move beyond, to rise. He belonged somewhere away from the oppressive, from this unrelenting pounding heat that drove you down instead of up.

But Gaara knew of this desolation. He tasted the dried-up hopes every time he donned the robes of Kazekage, every time he felt the demon stir restlessly inside his mind. He sometimes thought that maybe if he knew himself, if he had faith in himself, then maybe he could love himself.

Looking over the horizon, Gaara spotted a large bird, out of place within the desolate, heated skies. And as he rallied the sand he thought maybe he could make it so that he wouldn't quite belong in this landscape either.


End file.
